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Developing the Super-Ego


I've already written about realizing the Ego. Ideally, each aspect of life and of one's personality and being should be harmoniously integrated and sufficiently flexible to respond adequately to different life situations and challenges. Of course, one will always shine effortlessly in some areas and experience difficulties over and over in other areas when the situations encountered go beyond the range of one's personal experience. Rather than flee difficulties or heep them on other people, I believe the best course of personal development is to, on the one hand, rely on others, but also to consciously try to learn from them and then repeat what they do on your own as much as possible. This way one expands one's capabilities and "personal power."

A well-developed 3rd or 4th function means that a person has built up enough conventions ("rules of thumb") in these areas that she does not feel lost in most standard situations involving generous doses of these types of information. She knows that by following the rules of thumb he has gleaned from copying others and from trial and error, she can get by fine and not seem out of place.

Someone with poorly developed 3rd and 4th functions feels more unsure of herself in situations involving heavy doses of these information elements and is more likely to misinterpret the situation and overreact or underreact.

Examples of Super-Ego function development
To find a description of your 3rd function development below, look below for your 1st function. To find a description of your 4th function development, look for your 2nd.

extraverted ethics types who know lots of facts and can be very businesslike when the situation calls for it (especially by using lots of overtly business phrases).
extraverted intuition types who can appear very collected and in charge of their life and their business if need be.
extraverted logic types who are good at expressing sympathy and understanding (by using conventional phrases) and getting people to laugh and loosen up when necessary.
extraverted sensing types who are good at demostrating their awareness and understanding of the wider situation, not just the situation at hand.
introverted ethics types who are knowledgeable enough of various systems that they can explain what is correct or incorrect according to these systems and why.
introverted logic types who are able to suspend judgment and just listen understandingly when people need to express feelings like frustration and sadness.
introverted intuition types who can show that they care for their health, quality of life, and appearance and can entertain discussions on the topic without slipping to abstractions and ideology.
introverted sensing types who can talk calmly about the past and the future without getting upset or trying to claim that no one can know and therefore we shouldn't talk about it.

Inhibitions and the Super-Ego

We would all like to be spontaneous and uninhibited, right? But yet when we enter a new situation with new people, we hesitate to "be ourselves," preferring instead to wait, watch what other people do, and try to gauge how we will be received. In such moments the psyche is usually preoccupied with the Super-Ego functions and doubts as to whether these aspects of one's behavior and being are "good enough" for the situation at hand. Thus, when one begins to act in unfamiliar circumstances, one often appears to be controlling one's behavior to fit an internal stereotype of "good behavior." Typically, after a person makes her entrance and gains a bit of positive acceptance, she settles down into her usual Ego-mode behavior.

Certainly, some "average" degree of inhibitedness is normal, but if restrained behavior persists beyond the initiatory stage of social contact, the person clearly has some work to do! Inhibitedness is not a pleasant state of mind and prevents self-realization, which results from spontaneous, natural behavior.

Blatant uninhibitedness can also cause social problems, as people who immediately demonstrate their lack of inhibitions often madden others and get the "he has an attitude" label. These people also seem to be behaving unnaturally, since they are simply trying to provoke a reaction. Where is the perfect mean?

I suggest using the criteria of "tension." In my opinion, it is best to try to reach a state of minimal inner tension in one's social interaction. This means acting spontaneously and emphasizing the things one is confident of, but not with the intention of provoking others or putting them down, which also implies some kind of tension.

How to go about developing the Super-Ego
To reach this tensionless state, one needs to calm one's Super-Ego self-expectations, have the harmonizing influence of favorable intertype relations, and get consistent positive feedback for one's efforts. In general, the key to properly developing the Super-Ego functions is:

duality and a favorable type setting + conscious effort and self-study

Yes, the harmonizing influence of dual relations is very important to self-development, because it reduces self-identification with social masks that aren't really "you" and helps break down these masks. However, a conscious intent is equally vital, as development that takes place automatically (mechanistically) is not prized and often not even recognized by the individual.